Sunday, May 20, 2012


I am super overwhelmed. Where do I start?
First of all I could'nt even find the person who was suppose to pick me up at the airport. I wanted to cry, I had no way of contacting them, I tried to ask some Khmer officials to help me and it didn't work. Eventually I found him out side with a sign saying UBELONG, I was very relieved.
I thought we would be taking a taxi from the airport..but it turns out we walked with the luggage out to the street then took a tuk tuk, which is a small moto bike with a wagon kind of thing attached.
Driving throughout the city was strange. There are people everywhere, moto bikes everywhere, cars and bikes on both sides of the road. Sometimes I would even see 4 people, a whole family, riding one bike.  There were shacks built out of wood and old sheet metal, these were some peoples homes. There are street vendors everywhere, trying to sell something to make their family money. Children running around, some with no pants, no clothes, or shoes. The smells...I felt as if I couldn't breathe because of the street exhaust from bikes and cars. And of course there was the smell of food, feces or something of that sort, and just street smells. Anyways, more about the town later.
It is so hot. I thought I would never enjoy cold showers but it is all I want to do. My room is 4 stories up and the heat and moisture can be felt easily. I couldn't sleep with a blanket because it was so hot. I went down stairs and a women gave me a fan for my room...honestly I don't think I could survive without it.
Right when you get out of the shower you are instantly sweating. Nothing would absorb into my skin, not even sunscreen, it just left a wet sweating look. It is very frustrating. I dont know how anyone would wear makeup here as it would just melt off.
There are other volunteers here, but I feel so awkward, some have already been here and I dont know how to connect with them. They are all talking and already close because they have been here and I just feel so alone. No one has made initiative to say hello...I just want to cry because I wish I could explain what I feel. Just sitting here hearing everyone talk makes me feel so alone.
Today is orientation, we will be touring the city and learning basic ideas of the culture.
 I woke up at 4 am and couldnt sleep since, now it is 7:10 and I need to eat breakfast.
Anyways, I am sure these are all natural feelings. I feel terrible and so frustrated with the heat and having no one to communicate to.
Sorry this is poorly written, I cant even think straight.
Wish me luck.

1 comment:

  1. Emily you will be fantastic. I remember many of those feelings you are having right now. It is normal and natural and it doesn't matter what people say... it still hurts to go through.

    Find a cause in your heart or some souls in need of conversion to offer all your loneliness and frustration and discomfort for. It will be worth it.

    You are going to be great... you will acclimate soon darling.

    We love you and are praying for you... you are never truly alone.